Giving Up
by CarolineLeighMorgan
Summary: It ends with a choice. Farewell/So-This-Is-How-It-Ends Challenge. Cooper/Lucky, Oneshot.


**Title: **Giving Up

**Pairing: **Cooper Barrett/Lucky Spencer

**Rating: **PG13

**AN:** Written for **1000 Word Challenge - Week 41: Farewell/So This is How It Ends**

---

"I can't do this anymore."

Cooper quirks a brow. "Define _this_."

"**This**. You and me." Cooper doesn't know what to say. He wasn't expecting this now; his stomach coils with dread.

"Why?"

"Because—you know why, Coop."

"No, I don't, Lucky. Otherwise I wouldn't be asking you." He's starting to get angry now. "I thought we were good."

"Are you kidding me?" Lucky scoffs, fingers running through his hair like he does when he's really frustrated. "They hate us, Coop. Don't act like you don't see how they look at us, talk behind our backs like we can't hear what they're saying."

He sighs, tries to give Lucky his space so he can say what's on his mind but he isn't making sense. "You keep saying 'they'. What does that have to do with _us_?"

"We have careers to think about… family—"

Coop shakes his head, disappointed. "What brought this on?"

"They hate us."

"A couple people, maybe… homophobes and ignorant assholes. But you know what, people like that don't matter and you shouldn't let them."

"My father can't even look at me. I don't even remember the last time he's bothered to talk to me."

"Jesus, Lucky, what part of that is supposed to shock me. No disrespect cause I know how much you love him but that man isn't even in this state let alone this country long enough to talk to any of his children. _We_ aren't the reason, so don't use him as an excuse for why you want out…" Coop grit out in an angry sneer. "Even after you swore you wouldn't do this shit."

"I didn't realize how it'd be," Lucky adds, voice almost pleading.

"So that's it, huh? A couple of assholes at the station and you're already turning tail and running? That's total bullshit, Lucky." Cooper can't even find it in him to fight; he just feels angry and hurt, resigned—because in the back of his mind he knew this would happen.

"Nikolas isn't just some random nobody. He's my brother." Cooper pinches the bridge of his nose, bites back the sarcastic 'some brother' and tries to calm down because he gets it, knows how much it hurts his boyfriend that his brother turned his back on him. But Cooper is sure that Nikolas just needs time to wrap his head around it no matter how much it pisses Cooper off that Nikolas didn't automatically have Lucky's back.

"He needs time," Cooper finally says. "You said you understood… that we were okay. What the hell changed?"

"I was wrong. I didn't know…" Lucky shakes his head, "but now I do. And I can't do it."

"You made a promise," he adds softly. But when Lucky doesn't respond, merely looks away guiltily, Coop chuckles—it comes out sounding angry and disappointed, even a little sad. "You know, it's funny." He tilts his head, eyes cool holding Lucky's gaze. "I didn't think you were such a fucking coward… guess you're more like your father than you thought, huh?" And he hopes the words hurt, burn Lucky just as much as it does Coop to say it.

Lucky blinks slowly, eyes bright and round, a picture of distress—mission accomplished—and Coop watches as he recoils, disturbingly satisfied. He picks up his coat, can't even stomach to look at Lucky or anywhere else because this is _their_ place, _their_ things… _theirs_ and now it's all a lie.

"Coop—"

"No, fuck it." He's been down this road before and he isn't going to beg, not again. "Have a nice life, Officer Spencer," he says—the words laced with so much scorn and bitterness before he walks out the door without another look back. He doesn't even slam the door on his way out but the soft click still sounds incredibly loud. Only after he's a good distance away from Lucky and their home does he start to feel his heart break, the betrayal and hurt settling deep in his stomach. Coop wipes away the wetness clouding his eyes, refusing to cry.

---

Coop calls out sick and wanders the streets of Port Charles before finally making his way into Jake's that night. He takes a seat at the far corner of the bar, signals Coleman over, going straight for the shots.

"Trouble in paradise?" Coop grabs his shot, doesn't answer as he drinks and the liquor burns straight down his throat. "I'll take that as a 'yes' then, son. How 'bout your better half, he know you're here?"

"Just keep them coming," Coop dismisses, tapping the empty glass on the bar top. He doesn't want to talk about Lucky… better half, he snorts to himself, yeah, not at the moment, probably not ever. "Not really looking for small talk."

"Alright, man, whatever you say."

Coop nods—grateful—and Coleman keeps serving him drinks, one after the other. There's a guy at the pool table who keeps looking at him, surreptitious little looks but Coop knows when a guy's scoping him out, and he's never thought about 'after Lucky'… didn't think he had to but this guy _is_ looking and Coop bites back the feeling of guilt settling in his chest.

Coleman slams the shot glass down a little too loud and Coop startles. "Bit of advice. You don't want to do anything you're gonna regret later." Coop glares at him and Coleman throws up his hands, placating. "All I'm sayin' is you should take it easy. Ain't nothin' been done yet that can't be undone… don't go changin' that."

He wants to tell Coleman that he's wrong… that there's nothing Coop's going to have to regret because he doesn't have anything anyway. Lucky isn't going to care because he threw them away the moment things got too real and he got scared. Cooper just wants to forget (especially that he didn't even fight for them) so he offers Coleman a little salute with his glass, takes another drink, pays his bill and walks over.

---


End file.
